so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
