i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
