she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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