I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
