Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
