We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
