Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
