I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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