oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
