sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
