mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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