That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
