He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
sex in a hospital.. check
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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