i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
