But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
