Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think a kid would responsible me up
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize