he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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