I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
dude i'm inner monologue high
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize