Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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