her vagine was all disorganized.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
zippers are such a cool invention
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
