I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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