I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize