EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
it's great music for shaving your balls
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
