God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize