How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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