please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
