I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i came on her dog
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
