I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
