I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
