I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
