You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
