Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
