8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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