it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
