if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
