She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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