You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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