Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize