I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
