Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
