dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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