Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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