you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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