it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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