she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
