glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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