Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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