i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize