Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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