so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
