Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
