Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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