It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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