i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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