as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize