white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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