this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Also, beer. Big fan.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
