So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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