I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
