Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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