no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
