She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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