Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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