I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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