is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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