Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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