there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
