He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
