i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
