Whod you bang
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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