hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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