they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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