i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
