You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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